As I take a bite, a really hungry bite (close to empty in my tank), I can feel the gauge on my body tank filling up. I was eating breakfast Saturday morning and I could feel the cells in my body fill up with the fuel. It was amazing! Not that many bites later (note it used to take hours and hundreds of bites to eat) my food tank clicked.
Just like that, I knew I was full! I FELT it and I did not need to see it with a structured number or measured amount. I watch my kids in awe all the time do this and wonder how they know? The answer: “when you listen to your body, you just know.”
Years and years of the pattern “running on fumes” with my gas tank light on and blinking at me are going to take time to reverse. My intention is this, day by day, get to the station to fill up right away. Just like a car running on fumes, it is not good long term for the body. It WAS ALWAYS RESIST, restrict for 100 hours (or so it felt like) and then …..retire to the hunger.
It IS NOW drive to the station when the light goes on, retrain my body and mind to fill up before the tank goes below empty. An example of an old restriction pattern is when we had a box of powdered mini donuts over weekend. On this partiuclar morning, I really wanted one. My body and eyes were like, “Yum!” I waited 60 minutes before eating the delicious powdery white perfection!
The reason for waiting …. To hold off on the guilt after eating…..
Today’s guilt radar on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest ) is a 5.6 – not a bad score for a girl who just hit the track !